Be Yourself
How many times have we pretended to be happy when we are not just to make someone else feel better? How many times have we told someone that nothing is wrong when deep inside we are fuming? Why do we do it? Why can’t we be honest with our feelings and ourselves? Im not happy today so please don’t talk to me. Could you imagine what some people would say or how they would react if you said that. But it doesnt matter that thats how we actually feel. We smile, and listen and pretend to care when we just want to be left alone.
And how much harder is it with parents. OMG, my mother rings me and because i dont try to hide my emotions she can tell in my voice how i am doing. So when she says are you ok and i say no im a bit down and i dont feel like talking to you right now, she has a meltdown. i think the meltdown is more about im not telling her so she can feel better, rather than me telling her what is wrong.
Now as a woman, i get in bad moods, hell that is why we have periods, its our given right. So if i wanna be in a bad mood i will be, those that dont like it dont call me anymore. Im ok with that. Those that love me know how i am and they give me the space i need to deal.
That is why i honor and cherish my friendships so much. I dont have to pretend and be something im not for fear of hurting someones feelings. I can be honest and have my feelings respected. And the same is done in reverse.
So today who can you honor with their requests? Just because someone wants to be left alone or doesnt want to talk, is not a reflection on you being a boring or bad person, it may just be how that other person is feeling. Dont’ take it personally.
November 24th, 2009 at 5:53 am
I have read your sites content & can agree that is so easy for people to get into the habbit over time of pleasing others, mostly women more then men, then stay in that rut. Then being confused to whats wrong because they are not really happy but don’t know why, a lost kind of feeling.
I am fortunate because I have never been there. Im one of these people who are aimiable & friendly, but draw a line if people try to take advantage of that. So have never got in to a habit of living to please others.
I think allot of that is having confidence in myself, my abilities & limitations.
It seems to me you are trying to get womens confidence in themselves back. Then their purpose in live & motivation will come back. They will get out of the rut they are in.
I wish you all the best, I respect & admire all women. They have allot to cope with in live, often allot of this is just taken for granted by others & expected of them.
Regards & best wishes,
Steve Russell.