Do you ever have days where everyone around you seems to have an opinion about what would be better for you?  Well meaning people who believe that you need constant guidance and assistance to move through you days, but only end up confusing you?

Today was one of those days for me.  I was having the most fabulous morning and after spending some time with my niece, I really was feeling inspired so i went in and pulled out some notes in my book to send to get written up.

Then a relative decided that it was important to discuss where i am at this point in time and talked about what i needed to focus on because i didn’t have a goal.  I thought that was really interesting because i have had the same goal for about 10 years.  However, if you don’t ask me what my goal is, you probably wouldnt know what it is.

I had to stop myself from second guessing myself and my choices.  It really took me looking at the situation from their angle to see why they may think that.  I didn’t take it personally, I know that not everyone ‘gets’ what i do.  My mother will never understand why i spend so much time on that stupid computer.  That’s just her though.

So i thought about it and i realised that we all get tested from time to time.  How do you know if your on the right track if someone doesn’t question you or give you the opportunity to reaffirm your path.  This doesn’t have to be a reaffirming by doing a big song and dance.  That’s not everyone’s style.  It maybe the quiet reassurance you need to give yourself that you are doing what you love and that you are where you are meant to be.

Do not take to heart every question you get, or every off handed comment, trust me, there will be many of those along your journey.  If your going to give up on your dream every time someone makes a comment, its not a very strong dream at all.

So trust yourself.  You know what is right for you. You don’t have to have the approval of the masses, you just need to have given yourself approval to believe, dream and achieve.

To your success.
K

When I was younger I had the worst fear of the dark. It was awful.  I could not walk into a dark room, i had to sleep with light coming into my room, sleeping with the door closed was out of the question and any noise i heard from any dark corner would send me screaming to my mother for protection.

As I got older i started to realise that my fear was holding me back.  With light coming into my room, I didn’t really have a good night sleep, and if my door was opened, as soon as someone else in the house started to walk around, it would wake me up.

Now not being as brave as I would have liked to be, I started to take control and make little changes.  I would close my door ever so slightly and over time i closed it a little more and a little more until i was comfortable enough to close it all the way.  I also realised that when you turn a light off the room is dark, but once your eyes adjust, it is not pitch black.

I also took note that mum left her kitchen light on and her door opened, nan left her kitchen light on and her door opened as did my other family members.  Then I realised that it was learned behaviour.  We had grown up with it for so long we just did it, but it added to our fears.

It was a huge accomplishment to get to the place where i sleep with my door closed, blinds down and a sleep mask on.  I am no longer afraid.  I’m so glad I questioned why I was afraid and did something about it.

How long did that fear keep me trapped?  How long did it prevent me from experiencing things?

So my question to you would be, is there anything in your life that is being missed out on because of fear? And what would happen if you questioned it and took small steps to overcome that fear?

You may be surprised by what you achieve.

Sounds like a fair enough question.  You don’t really monitor the thoughts that go through your head.  After all, we have so many of them, how are we suppose to keep tabs on them all.

I suggest you start to because what you think about will come about.  Whether you believe in this stuff or not is not the point.  It happens.  I know so many people who complain all day long, and they say how bad things are, and what is wrong with them, and who has done them wrong, and what is wrong with their jobs.  And you know what, they just get more of what they put their energy on.

Tony Robbins says that what we think about we bring about.  Where your focus goes, your energy flows.  How true is that.

If you don’t believe, try it for a week or so. Just take notice of what you focus on.  Do you think about how bad things are and what is wrong in your life.  Or do you think about how many fabulous things you have and how blessed you are.

Whatever is going on in your life, your thinking is playing a huge role in it.

Think about it

We all know that we would not go on a holiday without a plan, at the very least have some idea of where we want to end up.  Some people are happy to take those mystery flights, but in life, they can get a little scary and old really quickly.

I went to Egypt with just a plan to go to Egypt.  That was my big plan. I did a lot of fun stuff and met some amazing people and although i would not change the experience for the whole world, I know that if i had planned it better i would have gotten so much more done.

So i ask you, what are your plans for 2010?  Do you have a plan or are you just content to cruise along?  There is nothing wrong with cruising along and seeing where the road takes you.  It just gives you a little more control of the outcomes if you have a plan on where you want to go.

How exactly do you figure out where you want to go?  Well thats easy.  You think!! Boy that was simple.  Sure it is.  Think about what you want and where you want to be this time next year.  If you had to fast forward to January 2011, what would you like to be able to say you completed?  What would you like to have put in place?  What major goals would you like to say you have moved closer to?  It’s up to you. Only you know what you want, we’ll worry about the “how” part later, but for now get thinking. Just take a week or so to think about how you would like your life to be.

If you could create your life to design, how would it look?  Be specific, get clear, dream big.  What’s the worst that can happen - that you end up with the same life you have right now.  What you focus on shows up in your life.  So if you don’t have anything to focus on, guess what shows up.

Take a week or so to just take notice of what you want.  What do you enjoy?  What makes your heart smile?  What can you do that makes the hours fly by?  It doesn’t have to be major like brain surgery or saving the world.  It may be reading, or learning, or sitting in the sun, gardening, talking, eating, socialising, playing with your children at the park.  You decide what is right for you.

Once you have that figured out, write it down.  Get those things you love on paper.  It will make sense later on.  Ill be back soon to give you the next step to designing your dream life in 2010.

If you would like to contact me, please drop me an email at karen.demmery@live.com.au  Im happy to chat and be of service to you in any way i can to help you move your dream forward.

Wow what an awesome way to look at life.  Imagine if we went about our daily lives with the thoughts and focus on what we can give to others and how we can serve them, as opposed to what we can get from someone.

I know what its like to make my life all about me.  Its great.  I was the center of my husbands universe.  It was all about me.  What i wanted I got.  Its funny how when you take things for granted they get moved or taken away from you.  Fast forward 3 years.  We are no longer together although we are still the best of friends.

Now i care for my 83 year old nan who fell and broke her hip in October 09 (on my birthday), thanks nan.
She was not able to get around and i moved from my home in Canberra to Dubbo to be her full time carer.  Wow talk about a culture shock.  My son is 21, so having to care for someone who is totally reliant on me for all her basic needs was challenging. Rewarding but boy was it challenging.  I didn’t get to sleep a full night (and i loved my sleep). I had to make sure she had meals ready, medication, showers, rest and love and conversation.

4 months on, i would have to say i have never been happier in my life.  I am still running my business from her house, and i must say now my priorities have changed, as have my business focus, but i love it.  We laugh and talk and I’m introducing her to the internet, which she still doesn’t think is right but who knows, i may end up getting her a facebook page.  I read somewhere that the highest number of recent users of facebook have been women aged 55-65.  Nan may start a new trend by being a leader for the 80-83 year olds.

When you have the chance to give to someone, do it without the expectation of something in return. I promise you that what you do get back will be a million times better and more rewarding than you could have imagined.

Please drop me a line at karen.demmery@live.com.au  i would love to chat with you about where you are in your life and how i can be of service to you.

Enjoy your week.

I’ve been floating around for a while trying to figure out what i was doing with my life.  I wasn’t really unhappy but at the same time, i really didn’t have any passion or purpose to my days.  Someone made the comment that i looked like i was disconnected and that got me thinking.

It was true, i had become disconnected.  I had lost my focus.  I had started to spend so much time on everyone else that i had lost myself in their needs not my own.  When i realised it, the light came on and i knew that i was going to be ok and that it won’t take long to refocus and regain my passion and purpose.

It really is so easy to become lost.  We are so many things to so many people and before we know it, we are no where in sight.  Our needs get forgotten in the daily grind of car pools, lunches, homework, housework, being wife, mother, sister, friend and employee.

But it can be easier than you think to get back on track, for your own sake.  Stop, look at where you are and focus on what you need right now.  You cannot get what you can’t identify.  You have to be able to name it before you claim it.

Start today by focusing on what you need. It doesn’t have to be huge things, sometimes all it takes is for the slightest change to make the biggest difference.

Here’s to your happiness.

Ah yes we know it, we really do. We understand that some sort of action is better than no action at all. If that is the case, then why don’t we up and take action? Is it fear? If so of what? What is the worst possible thing that could happen from taking action? Maybe we might make a mistake, maybe we might not be as successful as we would like, maybe, just maybe, we might be successful.

You dont need to know everything about everything to get started on your dreams, visions or projects. You could start by asking people who do know and work from there. Nothing is going to change if something doesnt change and that change must come from you.

Now i feel your pain, i really do. I am the queen of thinking of great ideas and business plans, but following through on action is something i have to really push myself with. Maybe i have a slight case of ADHD and my attention span is not as it could be. Im not sure, what i am sure of is that some days, it takes all the effort i can muster to get moving on my business tasks. But the funny thing is that once i start, i always feel better. Once i have completed a task, i feel on top of the world. I start small, baby steps. You have to force yourself sometimes. Its a habit.

Start today by taking baby steps and do something. trust me you will feel so much better for it. Email me and let me know how it goes.

How many times have we pretended to be happy when we are not just to make someone else feel better? How many times have we told someone that nothing is wrong when deep inside we are fuming? Why do we do it? Why can’t we be honest with our feelings and ourselves? Im not happy today so please don’t talk to me. Could you imagine what some people would say or how they would react if you said that. But it doesnt matter that thats how we actually feel. We smile, and listen and pretend to care when we just want to be left alone.

And how much harder is it with parents. OMG, my mother rings me and because i dont try to hide my emotions she can tell in my voice how i am doing. So when she says are you ok and i say no im a bit down and i dont feel like talking to you right now, she has a meltdown. i think the meltdown is more about im not telling her so she can feel better, rather than me telling her what is wrong.

Now as a woman, i get in bad moods, hell that is why we have periods, its our given right. So if i wanna be in a bad mood i will be, those that dont like it dont call me anymore. Im ok with that. Those that love me know how i am and they give me the space i need to deal.

That is why i honor and cherish my friendships so much. I dont have to pretend and be something im not for fear of hurting someones feelings. I can be honest and have my feelings respected. And the same is done in reverse.

So today who can you honor with their requests? Just because someone wants to be left alone or doesnt want to talk, is not a reflection on you being a boring or bad person, it may just be how that other person is feeling. Dont’ take it personally.

Some days you wonder why it all happens to you.  Don’t you have enough to deal with without the added pressure of surprise stresses that pop up.  Did you really need that flat tyre today of all days?  Did you not tell your children for the 100th time not to spill their milk on the only clean school shirt they have?

Everyone has those days.  I’ve had one of those weeks.  I wondered when it was going to end.  It was like a bad dream i kept living over and over each day with no improvement.  Groundhog day it was not.  Then i realised that my stress level was up to me to maintain.  I was the one who had to decide if i jumped up and down and screamed, or patiently counted to 10 and wondered if in the big sceme of things, was it really worth getting upset over and would it kill me?

Some days all you can do to survive is to let it go.  Don’t hold onto it or it will bring you down. and fast.  I have really have no magic words to help you when you are feeling really shitty, it sucks i know.  But I am feeling your pain and i share it with you.  But tomorrow is a new day and all we have is right now so we might as well make the most of it.

Not everyday is going to be great.  Not everyday your going to bounce out of bed and be so wonderfully happy that birds come and sit on your window sill.  There will be days when it takes all your energy just to keep going.  Some days you will be unhappy, angry, hurt, disappointed and confused.  Its ok to feel those days and honor yourself while in those moments.

I had one of those weeks.  I had placed my faith in someone who i thought would not let me down, and they did, badly.  Its hard to describe because its almost like im so hurt i can’t feel the hurt.  It’s like i have detached myself from it because the realisation that this happened to me would be too much for me to handle or even believe.

I have found that the best thing i have done for myself is give myself permission to be pissed.  Yes i said it.  Give yourself permission to be pissed off and stay in that space until you are ready to move on.  We are told as women that we should forgive and move on, and i agree with that completely.  But when i have been hurt, im gonna allow myself to wallow in that anger until im ready to move on.

It is also interesting that in my pissed off state, i have made some really good decisions.  I have cleaned my house and did so much washing, my son thought he walked into the wrong house.

Honor yourself enough to honor your feelings, whatever they may be.  There is always sunshine after rain, and rainbows, well we all know the better rainbows come after the biggest storms.

I  read somewhere to never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman, Amen to that.  Now if you dont mind, i have a bathroom to scrub.